6 Practical Ways to Deal With Difficult Coworkers
Have you ever felt like some coworkers were put on this earth to make your life difficult? You’re not alone. Whether it’s an annoying habit like eating smelly food in a shared space or a toxic trait like throwing others under the bus, a challenging teammate can tank your productivity and make work downright unpleasant.
Difficult coworkers exist in every field, at every company, so the sooner you learn how to handle them, the better for your career and your mental health. We’ll share six practical strategies for putting bad blood to rest and creating a happier, more productive work environment.
Why It’s Important to Keep the Peace With Difficult Coworkers
Though you’ve probably daydreamed about putting your problematic coworker in their place, it’s not a good look to be involved in a workplace spat. Practicing conflict resolution and keeping the peace are much better strategies for a number of reasons.
Getting your work done
First and foremost, you need to be able to do your job. If your performance suffers, your employment could be at risk. Finding ways to work with a difficult teammate will ensure you’re able to complete your assigned tasks on time and up to par.
Demonstrating professionalism
Your ability to handle difficult coworkers is a reflection of your professionalism and judgment. In order to be able to trust you with increasing levels of responsibility, your boss needs to feel confident that you’re able to resolve your own issues when they arise rather than burdening a higher-up with petty disputes.
Maintaining good relationships
Relationships play a big part in your career. Forming strong connections with colleagues can help you learn, multiply your productivity, clue you in to beneficial opportunities, and make work more enjoyable. If you’re known as someone who’s always involved in office drama, your relationships will suffer.
Advancing in your career
Difficult coworkers are pretty much a guarantee no matter what job title or seniority level you hold. As you move up the ranks into leadership positions, you’ll have to navigate managing troublesome employees and answering to exacting company execs. It doesn’t end just because you climb the ladder! Being able to handle challenging personalities successfuly is a skill that will serve you in advancing your career.
How to Handle Difficult Coworkers
1. Identify the problem
Begin by giving a name to what’s irking you. Is it an isolated behavior, like listening to music without headphones? Or is it a personality trait, like laziness? Identifying what it is that makes your coworker tough to get along with will help you attack the problem rather than the person, which is a cornerstone of effective conflict resolution.
2. Communicate clearly
So many workplace problems can be solved purely by communicating more clearly. If you tend to avoid confrontation, this may force you to step outside your comfort zone, but nine times out of ten it’s better to nip a problem in the bud by directly addressing it rather than letting it fester.
Find a time when you can talk to your coworker in private, then bring the problem to their attention using forthright language and specific examples. Here’s a script for how that might sound:
“Jim, it’s hard for me to focus when you take calls on speakerphone. Can you use headphones or step outside instead?”
If it’s more of a behavioral pattern or attitude rather than an isolated action that’s the problem, you made need to take the conversation a step further, like this:
“Sonya, there have been a couple times recently where you’ve snapped at me when I asked for updates on your work. I need to know where your tasks stand so I can plan my own workload. What’s going on? Is there something bigger that’s bothering you?”
As you can see, this script invites Sonya to share her perspective, which is another important conflict resolution step. Which brings us to our next strategy…
3. Be empathetic
Try to see things from your coworker’s point of view. This might sound like the last thing you want to do when you’re annoyed or angry, but it can actually be very effective in helping you move past your differences.
It’s possible your teammate doesn’t even realize their behavior is bothering you. Or, there may be a bigger issue at play. For example, you might learn that your spotlight-hogging colleague was recently passed over for a promotion, and their know-it-all attitude stems from their desire to gain your manager’s recognition. Practicing empathy shows your coworker that you’re not the enemy. Rather, you’re an ally who shares a mutual goal of getting your work done in a healthy atmosphere.
4. Stay calm
Sometimes even the most level headed, empathetic overture will be met with an outburst, but you don’t need to get heated just because the other person is. There’s no need to mirror their level of emotion. Keep your cool and speak in an even, controlled tone.
It can be helpful to repeat this mantra to yourself: It’s not personal. It’s work. If you fly off the handle, you’ll almost certainly regret it and will make it even more difficult to repair the damage, so do your best to stay calm even if it means removing yourself from the interaction.
5. Set boundaries
There will be times when a coworker won’t want to change their behavior or reach a resolution with you. In fact, some people may even take pleasure from causing problems. While you can’t control their behavior, you can control how you react.
Set boundaries for how you’ll respond in problematic situations and then hold steady in enforcing them. For example, if you have a colleague who constantly interrupts you during meetings, maybe you set a boundary to point it out by saying things like “Marcus, please don’t interrupt me” or “please let me finish my thought before jumping in.”
It might be awkward at first, but if your coworker runs into your boundary enough times, it may finally put the bad behavior to rest (or at least direct it elsewhere).
6. Seek support
While it’s always best to try to deal with a challenging coworker on your own first, there are a few scenarios where it’s time to bring it to the attention of your manager. This includes if the problem is:
- Continuously affecting your work
- Putting the business at risk, like with clients or customers
- Causing harassment, abuse, or discrimination against you or someone else
- Breaking the law
If one or more of the above are true, raise the problem to your manager or HR by following these steps.
- Explain what’s happening. Give specific examples of the problematic behavior, being mindful to focus on the behavior rather than accusing the person. If you have documentation, like emails or screenshots, or another person who can corroborate your account, include them.
- Explain what steps you’ve taken to try to resolve it on your own. This is important because it shows your manager or HR rep that the problem goes beyond a one-time interpersonal squabble and you’ve already spent time actively trying to address it.
- Explain the outcome you’re looking for. In many cases, this could simply be to get their guidance on how you should proceed. In other cases, you may be looking for your manager to take a specific action like talking to or disciplining your coworker.
Here’s an example email to raise a concern to your manager.
Gloria,
I wanted to bring something to your attention that’s negatively affecting my work. I’m running into a repeated issue with mistakes in Jennifer’s documents. Typically she would send them to me for a quick approval before forwarding them to the client for a signature, but lately I am finding major errors that require reworking entire sections of the document.
I have tried sending them back to Jennifer for rework, but that has caused us to miss our promised deadline on more than one occasion. Other times I have fixed the errors myself, but that has resulted in several hours of overtime per week and pushing back work on other important projects. Could you please advise how you would like me to proceed in addressing this situation?
Best,
Anthony
Things to Avoid When Dealing With Difficult Coworkers
Gossiping
Talking behind a pesky coworker’s back may feel like a release, but it only spreads tension and fuels the negativity. Plus, there’s a good chance it’ll get back to the person you’re talking about, which will only exacerbate the problem and reflect poorly on you. Instead of gossiping, address the problem head on with the coworker in question.
Being passive aggressive
Passive aggressive behavior, like sarcasm and snide comments, breeds resentment. Not only that, it’s immature and can make others question your professionalism. Communicating your frustrations in clear terms is a much more productive way to bring the problem to light and arrive at a solution.
Ignoring it
Sometimes it’s best to let a teammate’s irritating behavior roll off your back. But if the behavior goes beyond a mere annoyance and is creating a toxic work environment, addressing the conflict calmly and constructively can help keep it from progressing into a bigger issue.
Being respectful and focusing on solutions will help you manage difficult coworkers effectively, protecting your ability to do your job and creating a more positive work environment overall.
